Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You dont lie about slip and slides
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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