my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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