i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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