Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize