yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
