Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
