i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
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Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The air taste purple.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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