But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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