You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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