last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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