im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
MIDGETS
????
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
