I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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