aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
