Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
