I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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