Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
