So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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