Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
