ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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