If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
