why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...