Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
