I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
