Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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