kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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