You're a womanizer and a bitch.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
