Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
