All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
