The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize