drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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