My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
