i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
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I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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