awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
