The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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