Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
