I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Come see our sink grown plant.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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