You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
