I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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