At least make sure they are 18
Why
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
