I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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