Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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