shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
