so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
