ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
