and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
