Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
