Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
