just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
