shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
