we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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