Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
