This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
