loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer