I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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