I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize