is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
