Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
