Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
