He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
