I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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