I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
