The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
