when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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