She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
