I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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