if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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