he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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